I have never blogged before, but have always loved writing. The words in my mind that flow thru the days, bombarding me and scratching at me to get out. And when I verbalize them, it usually seems odd. Awkward. Wrong words or facial expression.
It takes me awhile to really talk, since I am often second guessing myself and hesitant, perhaps out of fear that I’ll sound ridiculous. I talk and think very deeply. Spewing theories of life, from politics to the minutia of atoms. I have once sat so still that the energy vibrating around me synchronized, creating what felt like a moment frozen in time. Another time while it was snowing so gently, I looked up to watch them fall and in that moment they seemed to stop suddenly. Paused in their fall. It was wild! I have also astro projected during a sadhana. I had never done that before. We were chanting and doing poses, and then paused to meditate. During the meditation I opened my eyes (which I assume was really my mind) and looked over to my teacher. She turned her head toward me and smiled. She new it was my first sadhana. She elegantly rose and came over to me, gently guiding my body down to the floor. As she did this, I was rising away, to the right corner of the room, overlooking the group watching her lay my body down comfortably. I quickly came back shortly after, and my mind raced. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I was so nervous to say anything, thinking I would sound crazy! I did eventually and she simply smiled.
I was having a conversation with my boss about electricity. I wanted to know how electricity worked. He explained in very simple terms that electrons are flowing and that generates energy. I immediately thought, “Wouldn’t the source of energy run out of electrons if that is true?”. When I asked him this, he explained that the electrons aren’t really moving. “Okay, so they are vibrating so quickly that they excite the electrons near by, therefore creating a flow of energy. But then what about the source?” He noted that the science of energy is like a religion, you just trust it is. Which I suppose essentially it is a sort of faith. Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it is either kinetic or potential. So with seemingly unlimited energy around us, where did it come from? Perhaps the Big Bang theory comes into play here, but then what started that? If the universe was empty, where did that initial spark of energy come from that caused the big bang? Logically, there is always an opposing force against another. Black and white. Light and dark. Positive and negative. There is always an answer to a question, except one. Still waiting for the answer…..
